Reflection

Hi friends. Today I am reflecting on my Dad, as it is 2 years on this day since he moved on to the next phase of his Being. [Still with me?]

One of these days I'll hit on the perfect phrasing for death, one that sounds less cold, less trite, and more personalized.

For now, I share with you a reflection. This day in particular does not bring me sadness per se, only a review of what the time passed has brought to me in terms of growth.

Dad's greatest joys for me: that I would write, and that I would seek purpose in this life. (Well, and that I would have tons of babies for him to love!)

So today I bring him his joys.

As He Wished

My last glimpse of my Dad was cellular
A fine grainy powder of ash
That constituted the physical presence of a giant to me.
A small sack of matter, easily toted
That has appeared where once he was.
I hold it in my hands, gingerly,
Trying to wrap my head around this possibility
And trying not to imagine the fiery mechanics of
The transformation
The reduction from man to matter.

Part of me longed to see him, still and silent in death
Dreaded to see him.
Knew that I would throw myself onto his chest
To keep him here just a moment longer.
All the while knowing the ashes were coming
The fire would consume him as he wished.
So there could no longer be an idol, a sepulcher of Floyd to lay my head on.
As if he knew that as long as he became
One with the wind
I would have to lay my head on the very earth
To commune with him.
As he wished.

Even now he has his way with me.
Effectively forcing my acceptance of the Oneness that is us all.

BWL October 6, 2008