Thursday, March 27, 2014

Time

"We spend too much time cursing time -- time waits for no man, time will tell, oh, the ravages of time, time flies! We don't think about the gift of time. Time gives us the chance to make mistakes and correct them, to regenerate, to grow. Time gives us the chance to forgive, to restore, to do better than we have ever done in the past. Time gives us the chance to be sorry when we fail and the chance to try to discover in ourselves a new heart... How we use this time means everything. Will we take the opportunity to transform ourselves... and to become, against all odds, the people of our dreams? That's what it's about, right? --- becoming the people of our dreams."

-Anne Rice, The Wolves of Midwinter

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

And Now You Are 9

I miss these days...
 the giggle of baby girls
 the sweet plumpness of fresh baby arms and legs
the soft murmurings of baby babble

And now you are 9 and I am shaking my head at the years, and how scientists talk about the speed of light as though it does not exist right in front of us. In the speed of light you  - chunky monkeys, sweet pumpkins, darling doves - have gone from me.
And in your places, in your places have sprung strange new creatures with varied and curious opinions and feelings, and an abundance of drama and expression.


Be kind, my lovelies
Be strong and kind
Empathetic and expressive
Whatever you do, believe in it wholeheartedly
Treat your friends loyally
Stand with your brothers
Do the best you can, and work diligently
And always, always
brush your hair

With all my love,
Mommy 



Saturday, December 7, 2013

Deadly Bites and Weapons Before 7am

Phoenix: If a king snakes bites you, you will be dead forEVER. Like, EVER. If it bites you. A king snake will bite you, you know. It will. It bites.

Me: King snakes are harmless to us. They do not have venomous bites. They eat pests like rats and mice and help us.

Phoenix (with a totally disgusted look and a sarcastic tone): What, like you might just scream loudly if it bites you? That's IT? Sheesh.

Phoenix: Maybe I can ask Santa for something like small gun. Just a small one, not real. I mean, not a real gun - not that. Just like, a play gun. But still a gun, I mean. A gun for Christmas.

Me: silence... and the distinct feeling that I do not know where this child came from, with his snakes and gun talk.

Do you ever look at your kids that way? As though they dropped out of the sky?

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Sunday Note: Substance

substance (noun): the quality of being meaningful, useful, or important

Come to me with your substance
Let me hear your words
Let your worth be a banner
Let all manner of tomfoolery
be underlaid with meaning
Let us laugh and then share one of those moments
Where silence can indeed say it all
Silence and a falling teardrop
caressing your cheek
and singing the song of love
Carrying in its path the tale of war wounds
and broken hearts
and hearts that keep on living.
The substance of tears
may just be the substance of soul
Set free for the short journey
You could catch it with your tongue
and carry that soul within
Or just let it soak back into the ground
substance matter mass
You are always with us.
Changing form
Carrying on.

BL
12.1.13
All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Pete the Cat talks

She holds Pete up like a chubby fur-puppet, and her Pete-voice reminds me of Burt (of Sesame Street fame, Burt & Ernie).
"Bethany, take me to work with you today. Do you think of me when you're gone? Do you miss me all day? Because I'd catch a grenade for you... jump in front of a train for you... I'd do anything for you. But you don't feel the same."



Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Warthog in the House

"I feel like sitting with you. I want to be with you.
But the warthog is always there.
Phoenix has a wart on his foot, and he always hogs you, so he is the warthog."


Monday, November 11, 2013

Monsters in the Night

"There might be monsters over there.
There really might be.
But don't you worry, I'll go first, and I will kill them.
I will see them, like, when I walk right up to them.
And I will shine my flashlight, and I will get them.
Don't you worry."

And he walked ahead of me, in the darkness, stomping and peering ahead for creatures. Shining his light. Talking a blue streak. Monsters might be deaf, you know.


Sunday, November 3, 2013

Sunday Note: What Lies Beneath

Some nights I sleep
on the edge of sleep
and I miss someone I once was
I sleep and wake
drift and rise
A tear glistens and I am confused
lonesome
Then stolen away again
I think I am traveling and my spirit goes
and goes
But my mind can't fathom
and so it befuddles and soothes
and accepts the twilight journey
But in the morning light I feel shadows
I feel I have drifted
I long for a place that is
not
of
this
world
And I long for the sleep to cradle
and mistrust
But mostly I long to know
Where I have come from.

BL
11/3/13

I decided in the morning that if I miss who I was, then I will be her again. Here comes The Sunday Note again. I'm back. 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Adventures in Middle School thought processes

Cole: Mom, you know how you always say that you learn something better by making a mistake first?

Me: (jaw dropped, squinting suspiciously at him) No, I've never said that - do you mean how I've said "Learn from your mistakes?"

Cole: Yeah, that! Well, I did bad on a test, but don't worry! She let me retake it and I got a B. So, I did better by making a mistake first, like you said!

Me: First of all, I never said to make mistakes first! And secondly, the best option would have been to STUDY, if you knew a test was coming...

Cole: It doesn't matter, I got a B.

Oy vey.