Today I'm pulling from my archives, and since they are off-line archives, well, then it's new to you! Not all of you, but surely I can recycle a good tale? I promise you will laugh, or at least shiver. After all, what's better for a Monday than a little poo story - nothing, I say! And I deserve a small break after being sick all weekend. The Yuck found me and it hated me and I hated it and now I am on the mend. End of story.
Let's move on too Poo and Friends.
The phrase “having a bad day” takes on all new meaning when a child unceremoniously hands you a glob of poo.
From that day forward all days bereft of poo-handling will seem brighter. In fact, you know you have one-upped a certain percentage of the complaining adult population. Friends with kids, singles – anyone that calls to bemoan their day can be brought to a screeching halt.
Them: “So, little Timmy woke up at late… we were late for music class… late for a play date… late for hieroglyphics lessons…”
Me: “Hmmm, that’s too bad. Say, have you touched poo today? No? Then you’re a few steps up the bad day chart from me.”
Really, any run-in with poo outside of conventional receptacles constitutes a great big icky moment. And you will ever after find yourself comparing notes with other Moms. (Kids Are Gross, Shah!)
Poo thrown around bedroom? Check.
Poo smeared inside crib? Check.
Poo as a handheld accessory? Check.
Poo as play dough? Oh, ever-loving check.
Poo as decorative statue? Check.
Poo as votive candle? Uh, yeah-yeah.
Inside I secretly gloat over the poo-wars I have fought. I know that I have met unexpected poo face to face, and lived to tell the tale, ummm, tail.
My best poo quote goes to Jadyn, from about a year ago. The girls were playing industriously out back for a very long time, so I walked out to check on them. As I stepped out the door I heard Jadyn say: "Wait a minute Bella. Let me poop out another one and we'll make a rabbit."
Ah, yeah. Really. Poo-dough.
Have a great Monday, ya'll - and may all your poo-ey days be at least funny, if not poo-free.