Monday, February 9, 2009

15 Directions

I could go in 15 directions here, probably because the ham-ham-hammering all day long has my noodle rattled. Seriously? The guys were hammering siding on BOTH sides today, and all I could think of was the Buffett song "...fins to the left, fins to the right..."" [insert hammers for fins].
So as the day went on I concocted tales on Phoenix's First Mischief, Mom's Natural Remedies (e.g. Get Out The Vinegar), The Kids Are Feeling Well Enough to Get On Each Other's Nerves And Mine, How Phoenix Got Pink Eye, Ear Infections And A New Tooth In One Week - and now?

Now, The President is on. He's on every channel & he's talking and I'm listening and all my stories have crumbled into dust because I have missed him.
I listen to him and I trust that he is the Man For The Job. He's not duped by the Congressional wish list touted as a stimulus package. He recognizes the same old political game going on.
Savvy. The man is savvy. He will do the best he can.
You see? Throw another topic in my rattle-trap mix: Why I Love Me Some Presidential Speeches.

You'll have to wait for First Mischief chuckles, because I have to load pictures first.
The other titles tell the tales of sick-almost-well kids bickering, so that leaves....
...drum roll...
Mom's Natural Remedies!
My mama proudly declared the amount of months it has been since she used chemical pain relievers such as aspirin and sinus medication. As though she "used" as a junkie would, uncontrollable amounts of pain relievers in her daily life. What has taken the place of those dear little pills, you may ask? I will tell you.
Steamy water.
Hot olive-oil ear rinses.
Green tea compresses.

Let's vote.

Mama has been body-snatched by:
1. Winnie The Pooh
2. Still thinking about Pooh
3. Let's just say Pooh really loud, and all our troubles melt away!
I say this in my best Pooh voice, and you know you have tried a Pooh-imitation before: Honey is good for many ailments and especially rumbly tummies.
I'm gonna guess that standing over a steamy pot of water, with hot oil dripping out of my ears simply ain't gonna cut the pain radiating around my noodle from hours of pounding, hours of bickering and far less hours of sleep, kids. Quote me on that.
And the only Pooh making an appearance around here is missing an "h"at the end.

Let's move on to green tea compresses, e.g. Mom's Remedy for Phoenix's pink eye. I am still working out the logistics of how the hail I was supposed to keep the compresses on his eyes for longer than the second it would take him to swipe them off and gnaw on them.
Ditto for the olive-oil down the ear chute. The kid writhes and bucks like a bull when I wipe his nose - so I am thinking some oil in the ole ear will be a right mess.
(I too am trying to figure out why Home Remedy Talk must be done in a down-home accent. Yeehaw.)

The vinegar? Oh that one was good. I was lamenting that this family had caught various brands of The Yuck for the past 3 weeks and I was ready to douse every un-moving object in the house with Lysol.
Mama begged to differ.
She breathed out the beginning suggestion of a vinegar wash that I could clean with, but I admit I cut her off. She had me at vinegar. And wash. And vinegar wash that would require a trip to the store with 4 still-sick kids and leave my house smelling, oh, vinegary fresh.
Besides, spraying Lysol all over was somehow therapeutic. But I promise I did it while enjoying a spoonful of honey.
The rest? Go ahead, try it. Let me know how it goes...

1 comment:

  1. I knew that is where you would be when I got up to post! :)
    I thought, "Bethany is enjoying the pres. right now."
    Go and take two Ibuprophen tablets. :) That will cure the headache.
    Why do Pink eye and ear infections come together?


Put it right here, babe!