Today Isabella made great strides in becoming less squirrel, more girl. We take a lot of walks, since our neighborhood has a lovely, tree-lined parkway. And at every crosswalk we gather & cross together. Well, Isabella panics every time she even hears a distant motor rumble. And it drives me nuts.
Here's the scenario: Me pushing stroller, Cole darting ahead, Jadyn lagging behind, and "deer-in-the-headlights" Isabella freezing mid-road and running BACK across the road. Stop procession, call Cole, turn and go back to collect her. She gets so spooked, she keeps running, to the closest yard, zig-zagging like a squirrel. Sort of like Forrest Gump, she just keeps running, going far, far away from vehicular danger. Oh, and let's not forget the cars in both directions that have to stop & wait! I wave thanks to the drivers, shaking my head. They always grin - though I gotta say, unless you have kids, how could you expect this? I wonder if I used to be impatient with families like mine, kids strung out across the road as though the Mom were careless or in la-la-land. Little did I know then that despite all good intentions, kids will walk as they please.
My pep talk goes like this "Isabella. Where is the safest place to be? With Mommy & the other kids." Repeat as needed. Her answer? "Off the road!" Well, yes and no... And Jadyn copy pep talks her :"Bewa. Stay with Mom."
So, we walked to the Cleaners this morning, and had to cross a real road - and she did it! She simply held onto the stroller and walked across. What a miracle - there's no stopping us now! :) Yep, my entourage & I can now cross roads without stopping 2-way traffic.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
On the deck
Tonight we grilled chicken & hung out on the deck for a while. The older kids played Roller Derby, which is flying around our little deck in crazy circles, on their trikes. They have watched Cars the movie a lot, and are really into crashing each other from behind. Fun. I think it lets out the aggression in a rather safe way, right? :)
Phoenix watched the leaves dance from his bouncy seat, chewed on his hands & tried not to get crushed by a flying sibling.
Rick grilled & smoked a cigar.
I enjoyed some white wine & tried to keep my toes out from under the trike wheels.
We were ready to go in and eat when Cole started crying - his toe got run over. Isabella & Jadyn wanted some "moolk." Then Phoenix tuned up - he was tired of hanging out. So I gave them all a bowl of ice cream OUTSIDE, we took our dinner INSIDE and enjoyed a quiet meal, watching them out the bay window. :) Phoenix is liking the idea of nursing while we are eating - in the way of all our babies, he gets crabby right at dinnertime. The witching hour. The arsenic hour. Or, as Rick's Bermudan client called it: "the nigglies." Whatever it means, Bermuda has it right - kids get the nigglies at dinnertime.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Truthiness
Yep, it's an election year, and the e-rumors are flying. I received one yesterday that I could not fathom. It was simply Not True! Something to the effect that Ob@m@ had stated that the US is not a Christian nation, but is made up of Christians, Muslim, Buddhists, etc.etc. Then the writer went on to declare this supposed statement a travesty, and proclaim that "our ancestors fought & died to make this a Christian nation" and he's trying to take that away.
Cough cough. If I know my history, I would have to say that the founders of America came here seeking....
wait for it.....
RELIGIOUS FREEDOM.
Yes, those dear immigrant Puritans, Quakers & Calvinists were being oppressed in those lands across the ocean, right? So they came here to worship freely, however they chose. And though they all happened to stem from Christian sects, and write their beliefs into the fabric of our Constitution and Declaration, there was never any PS "Christians Only" addendum. I have been under the impression for my entire life that the Revolutionary War was fought to free us from a colonial power - I never knew that was a religious war! Wow! Did I miss an attempted anti- Christian coup at some other historical juncture too? This is mildly distressing. Somewhere out there, many Americans are baa-ing and believing this innocuous email.
Geez, the things you learn on the internet...
Cough cough. If I know my history, I would have to say that the founders of America came here seeking....
wait for it.....
RELIGIOUS FREEDOM.
Yes, those dear immigrant Puritans, Quakers & Calvinists were being oppressed in those lands across the ocean, right? So they came here to worship freely, however they chose. And though they all happened to stem from Christian sects, and write their beliefs into the fabric of our Constitution and Declaration, there was never any PS "Christians Only" addendum. I have been under the impression for my entire life that the Revolutionary War was fought to free us from a colonial power - I never knew that was a religious war! Wow! Did I miss an attempted anti- Christian coup at some other historical juncture too? This is mildly distressing. Somewhere out there, many Americans are baa-ing and believing this innocuous email.
Geez, the things you learn on the internet...
Friday, August 8, 2008
All for one, one for all
Rick stepped outside with Cole to look at the tomatoes, and within a minute, everyone was on the doorstep. Even the cat walked up & started meowing. It's like some sort of communal consciousness, a "knowing". It also happens whenever I close my eyes for a quick, secretive nap. They come out of the woodwork from wherever they were previously occupied. Cole is the best at being tuned in - I can be sitting nearby for an hour, but if I step outside, or God forbid, into the bathroom, he raises the roof yelling for me. :) And then he looks all pitiful, and tells me he thought I left him. Where does this abandonment complex come from?! I have explained sincerely that I will never leave him home alone. I have explained that it's even against the law for parents to leave young kids home alone. Maybe that's part of the "knowing" too - he knows that some days, I just want to take a walk around the block... alone... and he's always on guard. :)
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Yes, I have time for all of this...
People ask me every day how I have time to do "____" (fill in the blank - read books, maintain my website, upload pictures, play on F@ceb**k, cross-stitch, make banana bread, make scrapbooks, be on the HOA Board, etc, etc.) And I usually shrug and say something like "Oh, I read instead of cleaning the house." Actually, being online is an easy hobby with a houseful of kids. I can sit at the household crossroads of my kitchen table & view every in/out up/down move of the kids - and not have to put away tools, papers, or gear involved in other hobbies. Right now my other hobbies are on hold until the kids are all in bed, because I can't have them getting into all my "stuff." It's quite irksome to make a great scrapbook card, leave the room for a moment, and come back to a crayon-scribbled mess. Or to leave some sewing out, only to have all the needles and all of the thread color tags disappear into the void... No, I think for now the less tools & supplies, the better. Hit "save" and walk away! Woo-hoo!
I guess the biggest time-sucker that I don't fall into so much is TV. Sure, there are a lot of shows I enjoy, and even a few that I commit to for the season. And I do get caught up in mindless goofy shows now & then ("It's C&mplic@ted" - really?? No Denise, it's actually not that complicated.) , and often can't look away from a well-loved Seinfeld re-run. But for the most part, I can't stand to sit there and click around just looking for entertainment. I'd rather click around online or edit photos or make banana bread or.... blog! Besides, this has a purpose, a higher goal! Blogging will hone my writing skills so that I can pick up a career when the littlest Lear goes off to school in a few short years.
Come on, it's more fun than watching Lifetime.... :)
I guess the biggest time-sucker that I don't fall into so much is TV. Sure, there are a lot of shows I enjoy, and even a few that I commit to for the season. And I do get caught up in mindless goofy shows now & then ("It's C&mplic@ted" - really?? No Denise, it's actually not that complicated.) , and often can't look away from a well-loved Seinfeld re-run. But for the most part, I can't stand to sit there and click around just looking for entertainment. I'd rather click around online or edit photos or make banana bread or.... blog! Besides, this has a purpose, a higher goal! Blogging will hone my writing skills so that I can pick up a career when the littlest Lear goes off to school in a few short years.
Come on, it's more fun than watching Lifetime.... :)
Monday, August 4, 2008
Why Borderland Traveler?
For a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that I thought it would be a pretty cool blog name! :-) And it covers a multitude of topics, so I can be as varied as I am. Oh, okay, honestly, it's the Floyd in me. Dad could never resist a good name. When all the Y2K hype was abuzz, he changed his email addy to "Y2KSeeker," and then named his own site "St@nes of F!re." So I come by the naming drama honestly, and I know Dad would get a kick out of this. :)
If I decide to go mystical, a borderland traveler hints at inhabiting the borderland between this world and all others. A fascinating place to be, and one that brings exciting insight and commitment to this life... thanks to Dad for this habit too - as anyone who has lost a loved one can attest, when your Dad goes somewhere you cannot follow directly, or see clearly, you tend to turn over every stone trying to communicate. Or maybe that's just me, and the Watson-bequeathed mystical side again? I'll let you know if Dad reads this & comments!
If I wax parental, it hints that as a parent, I am on the border. Of sanity? Perhaps! Any parent who says they have not been to that particular border is lying!
So, here goes. Borderland Traveler commences.
Whew. I picked a name. It's no easy thing, this idea of a name. But the blogging part? That's easy. I've been "blogging" since I was at least 12, only it used to be called "journaling." :) Writing is a compulsion for me, whether it's turning a harrowing day into a funny tale or writing poetry.
So here's to enjoyable travels from this inhabitant of the borderland...
If I decide to go mystical, a borderland traveler hints at inhabiting the borderland between this world and all others. A fascinating place to be, and one that brings exciting insight and commitment to this life... thanks to Dad for this habit too - as anyone who has lost a loved one can attest, when your Dad goes somewhere you cannot follow directly, or see clearly, you tend to turn over every stone trying to communicate. Or maybe that's just me, and the Watson-bequeathed mystical side again? I'll let you know if Dad reads this & comments!
If I wax parental, it hints that as a parent, I am on the border. Of sanity? Perhaps! Any parent who says they have not been to that particular border is lying!
So, here goes. Borderland Traveler commences.
Whew. I picked a name. It's no easy thing, this idea of a name. But the blogging part? That's easy. I've been "blogging" since I was at least 12, only it used to be called "journaling." :) Writing is a compulsion for me, whether it's turning a harrowing day into a funny tale or writing poetry.
So here's to enjoyable travels from this inhabitant of the borderland...
Monday, May 21, 2007
Pencils, Chalk, Crayons and... Chocolate Milk?
May 21, 2007 - "Pencils, Chalk, Crayons and... Chocolate Milk?"
It has been the month of wall decor. These stealthy, sneaky, scalliwags have had their way with our walls.
It all started when Jadyn managed to sneak some sidewalk chalk into the house - oh, and it was wet, too, having been forgotten in the rain. Ot perhaps it was pre-planning on her part. Sure, it sounds easy, to bring a small chalk inside, but I am super-vigilant about coloring implements. Strict as can be, eagle-eyed, finger-shaking, doom-predicting, well, you get it.
You have to know Jadyn, aka The Phantom. She has way of traveling so stealthily that she can pass right by and go unseen. And that's what happened on this day. Only she left her calling card, as she apparently had a chalk in each hand, yellow and orange. Like airstrip tape in the night, she marked parallel lines down the front hallway carpet, by the kitchen, and - here's where it gets ugly - on our heretofore pristine den carpet. Ahhh. Did we need punctuation marks along the floor? A solid double line to demarcate a no-passing zone in the hallway? Well, we got 'em now. And carpet cleaner holds no power against rain-soaked, ultra-bright chalk.
Next, enter pencil art. Take 2 thick yellow preschool pencils, wielded by 2 mark-happy toddlers, and what you have is a playroom walled scribbled from stem to stern. From baseboard to the length of an excited toddler arm. Ahhh. Let's all hum the theme song to Magic Eraser. Who is responsible for this?? The reply comes from, who else, The Blame Phantom - "Sissy did it." And poor sissy takes it like an innocent Little Bear - all angelic naivete and wide eyes: "I need to sit in time out."
We've come full-circle, back to The Phantom, and a handful of crayons. Though I am wise to her sneaky ways, I have failed to factor the one-up the 2 of them have on me: 2 determined toddlers ace one harried parent any day. They have gotten into Cole's crayons, pretended to be all obedient and compliant ("Yes ma'am, we sit at the table"), and I have let down my guard. Rick comes in and as we chat, The Phantom hurries off to do the deed. But a new twist is added! She comes right back, so we suspect nothing! It's not until I walk down the hall moments later that I spy Picasso's piece. Slightly rushed in execution, but enough pressure to warrant some true scrubbing. Beautiful. Magic Eraser come on down.
Incongruously, chocolate milk makes it's appearance in this tale. Can you guess? Yep, it's our dear little Phantom. Once again, down the hallway I go, and I spy some suspicious puddles on the foyer tile... and some spatters down the bathroom door... and some drips down the hall. Oh my. Jadyn runs up - "I need a towel." Yes, you do, as you have chocolate all over your chin, and running down your shirt. From the look of things, Cole's milk was not to her liking, so she walked down the hall, spitting and shaking the straw. Particular care was taken to splatter the bathroom door, in order to get the drips to run down and collect in puddles underneath the door. Nice. This child needs a hobby.
It has been the month of wall decor. These stealthy, sneaky, scalliwags have had their way with our walls.
It all started when Jadyn managed to sneak some sidewalk chalk into the house - oh, and it was wet, too, having been forgotten in the rain. Ot perhaps it was pre-planning on her part. Sure, it sounds easy, to bring a small chalk inside, but I am super-vigilant about coloring implements. Strict as can be, eagle-eyed, finger-shaking, doom-predicting, well, you get it.
You have to know Jadyn, aka The Phantom. She has way of traveling so stealthily that she can pass right by and go unseen. And that's what happened on this day. Only she left her calling card, as she apparently had a chalk in each hand, yellow and orange. Like airstrip tape in the night, she marked parallel lines down the front hallway carpet, by the kitchen, and - here's where it gets ugly - on our heretofore pristine den carpet. Ahhh. Did we need punctuation marks along the floor? A solid double line to demarcate a no-passing zone in the hallway? Well, we got 'em now. And carpet cleaner holds no power against rain-soaked, ultra-bright chalk.
Next, enter pencil art. Take 2 thick yellow preschool pencils, wielded by 2 mark-happy toddlers, and what you have is a playroom walled scribbled from stem to stern. From baseboard to the length of an excited toddler arm. Ahhh. Let's all hum the theme song to Magic Eraser. Who is responsible for this?? The reply comes from, who else, The Blame Phantom - "Sissy did it." And poor sissy takes it like an innocent Little Bear - all angelic naivete and wide eyes: "I need to sit in time out."
We've come full-circle, back to The Phantom, and a handful of crayons. Though I am wise to her sneaky ways, I have failed to factor the one-up the 2 of them have on me: 2 determined toddlers ace one harried parent any day. They have gotten into Cole's crayons, pretended to be all obedient and compliant ("Yes ma'am, we sit at the table"), and I have let down my guard. Rick comes in and as we chat, The Phantom hurries off to do the deed. But a new twist is added! She comes right back, so we suspect nothing! It's not until I walk down the hall moments later that I spy Picasso's piece. Slightly rushed in execution, but enough pressure to warrant some true scrubbing. Beautiful. Magic Eraser come on down.
Incongruously, chocolate milk makes it's appearance in this tale. Can you guess? Yep, it's our dear little Phantom. Once again, down the hallway I go, and I spy some suspicious puddles on the foyer tile... and some spatters down the bathroom door... and some drips down the hall. Oh my. Jadyn runs up - "I need a towel." Yes, you do, as you have chocolate all over your chin, and running down your shirt. From the look of things, Cole's milk was not to her liking, so she walked down the hall, spitting and shaking the straw. Particular care was taken to splatter the bathroom door, in order to get the drips to run down and collect in puddles underneath the door. Nice. This child needs a hobby.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
We've reached the 2 year milestone!
I don't know where to start this time, as we've moved into a new dimension. A brave new world where babies have become people, and cooperation is replaced by exclamations of disgust and squeals of discontent. Is this the twilight zone? Has someone absconded with our sweet-natured angels? Well, I'll admit that my head does spin at times. And from the looks on the kids' faces, my eyes must bug out a bit when some particularly heinous mess has been made.
Cole is Squirrel Boy, dashing to and fro. Jadyn is smiling dress-up girl, marching around with a backpack, hat and stroller. And Isabella, well, she still prefers to perch on a lap with a menagerie of stuffed animals & a book.
And when mishaps occur, the children all have their acts down. Cole:deny, deny, deny! Three times deny, and I hate this house! Jadyn: blame, blame, blame! Anyone but me, and usually it's "Bewa." Isabella: stare, stare, stare! Eventually my cuteness will distract them, and they'll bring a snack.
Mealtimes? Cole: I hate this! Yuck! This is disgusting... may I have dessert now? Jadyn: Scarf it down, pass anything unwanted over to "Bewa's" plate. Isabella: she's been waiting in her chair ever since someone mentioned eating, oh about 20 minutes ago.
We looked through our photo album of the first months after the girls were born. Thankfully I have this journal, because those days have been smitten from my memory! I have to concentrate to remember the exhaustion and overwhelming needs of 2 infants plus Dr. Demando (Cole, not Rick!). Ah, the trick of nature, lest every mother avoid a repeat performance! Just an observation, not a hint. Settle down.
So here we are, still standing, after 2 years. A little frazzled, slightly scattered, definitely blessed. And still watching over these 3 when they don't know we're looking. These are the sweet moments of reflection that sear into memory. Somewhere along the way our life started, and rather than hurry to the next scene, we are content to rest here and enjoy the noise. The commotion. The graham-crackery smell of a toddler. The sink full of dirty dishes...-ok, not those. Somebody please wash up. I'll pay you.
I don't know where to start this time, as we've moved into a new dimension. A brave new world where babies have become people, and cooperation is replaced by exclamations of disgust and squeals of discontent. Is this the twilight zone? Has someone absconded with our sweet-natured angels? Well, I'll admit that my head does spin at times. And from the looks on the kids' faces, my eyes must bug out a bit when some particularly heinous mess has been made.
Cole is Squirrel Boy, dashing to and fro. Jadyn is smiling dress-up girl, marching around with a backpack, hat and stroller. And Isabella, well, she still prefers to perch on a lap with a menagerie of stuffed animals & a book.
And when mishaps occur, the children all have their acts down. Cole:deny, deny, deny! Three times deny, and I hate this house! Jadyn: blame, blame, blame! Anyone but me, and usually it's "Bewa." Isabella: stare, stare, stare! Eventually my cuteness will distract them, and they'll bring a snack.
Mealtimes? Cole: I hate this! Yuck! This is disgusting... may I have dessert now? Jadyn: Scarf it down, pass anything unwanted over to "Bewa's" plate. Isabella: she's been waiting in her chair ever since someone mentioned eating, oh about 20 minutes ago.
We looked through our photo album of the first months after the girls were born. Thankfully I have this journal, because those days have been smitten from my memory! I have to concentrate to remember the exhaustion and overwhelming needs of 2 infants plus Dr. Demando (Cole, not Rick!). Ah, the trick of nature, lest every mother avoid a repeat performance! Just an observation, not a hint. Settle down.
So here we are, still standing, after 2 years. A little frazzled, slightly scattered, definitely blessed. And still watching over these 3 when they don't know we're looking. These are the sweet moments of reflection that sear into memory. Somewhere along the way our life started, and rather than hurry to the next scene, we are content to rest here and enjoy the noise. The commotion. The graham-crackery smell of a toddler. The sink full of dirty dishes...-ok, not those. Somebody please wash up. I'll pay you.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
January 31, 2007 "With a Bang and a Boom"
We've entered the Age of Two with a bing-bang-boom. Keep in mind these are actual events, and no creative liberty has been taken. Really. Sometimes truth is funnier than fiction.
7:15 am We are awakened by a loud crash from the girls room. I sort through the possibilities in my mind in a split-second, discarding unlikely sources or events (i.e. a crib has completely collapsed, or the garbage truck is collecting in the nursery.) I listen carefully to the babbling for a second, awaken fully, and dash in there. Entering the nursery is like stepping into a warm, dark cave. Their noise fan is on, it?s pitch-black, and the first wrong part of the equation emerges: Jadyn greets me at the door, delightedly. She somehow catapulted herself out of the crib, banging her head on either the closet door, or Isabella?s crib. She?s not upset by this at all, just rubs her head and says ?Bump head, Mommy.? Isabella is exclaiming excitedly, and much more worriedly "Sissy fall! Bump head! Oh no!" Oh no is right. I'm not ready for this.
9:45 am The girls are safely downstairs, going on with the day. They are watching a show, I am out of the room for a moment. Loud crash Number Two occurs, followed by loud screaming from Isabella. I leap down the stairs in a single bound, over the baby gate and into the room. Isabella has apparently climbed on top of the TV, and toppled it from the stand to the floor. She is terrified but unhurt. Jadyn is sitting just beside the over-turned TV, yelling "No Bewa! Bewa climb show! Show down!" Did I mention Jadyn is naked? Yes, she will not keep any clothes on, in fact the only reason she leaves her diaper on is because she doesn?t like messes, so peeing on the floor disturbs her. Soothing, hugging, admonishing complete, I wonder what in the world else could possibly happen today?
9:50 I am again attempting to get something done, anything done - dishes, laundry, dusting - things that require leaving the room momentarily. The girls are happily playing or reading in the playroom, so I sneak away. I peek out to check on them, and they have silently dragged a chair to the kitchen counter. Isabella is fiddling with the CD player, Jadyn is sitting on the counter wearing Rick's prescription sunglasses, grinning back at me, still naked. Rick turns the chairs over, next to the wall, out of commission - we think.
9:56 am Another peek to check on them, and once again they are on the counter. They have pushed, pulled and wrestled a chair from ACROSS the room, into the kitchen. I say sternly "Girls! Get down right now!" Isabella hightails it off the counter into the playroom and hides in a corner. Jadyn sits right where she is in the middle of the counter, opens my cellphone, grins at me, puts the phone to her ear and says "He-wo?" We remove all the chairs to another room, safely behind a gate. Whew. Really, what else could they get into?
10:15 am Like the fatalist lemming off a cliff, I continue my attempts at getting things done around the house. Surely the little imps will tire of their impishness and play with actual toys. Ahem. The sounds of clinking and clanking ring from the kitchen?s tile floor. What are they doing?? Making a souffle? Opening a bottle of wine? I ignore and console myself with the thought that I have locked the drawers that have dangerous items in them, so how bad can it be. One laundry load later, the banging is louder so I have to go check. There?s only so much household damage I am willing to repair, after all. Tweedledee and Tweedledum have all the silverware out on the floor ? and Isabella has had her way with it, placing the pieces neatly in rows. The wine thought was not too far off - they both have corkscrews and are tapping them on the windows, giggling. Isabella quickly puts hers back in its case, and Jadyn throws hers in the drawer. They're on to me now, and pull all the cuteness strings to stay out of trouble. For Jadyn, this means scooping up all of the silverware, and yelling "No Bewa, No Touch! No no!" while tossing it all in the drawer and slamming it. Jadyn's tactic of "blame and clean" is definitely funny, but I prefer Isabella's look of guilt.
Day's End: I have child-proofed the remaining kitchen drawers. Rick's idea of tying the chair legs to the table legs, a la public park, has been implemented. Dare I say bring it on? No, I don't dare. Because even as I type, they have dragged some other climbing tool into the kitchen, and are even now plundering the counters, dialing foreign countries on my phone, and pouring water into my purse. It's much too quiet down there. The sounds of guilty, furtive activities are usually quiet and echoed by "No, sissy I need that!" They must be drinking my water, I hear slurping and "Ah!" They are mocking me. Isabella repeats my line of "Girls, that's not funny" only she say "Dat's not dunny." Her "f" sounds are "d" - particularly "dunny" when she says "Ouch, my dinger!" Or "Wook! Wook! A dish!" "I wanna deed me." But that's another story. Oh well. back down into the trenches I go.
We've entered the Age of Two with a bing-bang-boom. Keep in mind these are actual events, and no creative liberty has been taken. Really. Sometimes truth is funnier than fiction.
7:15 am We are awakened by a loud crash from the girls room. I sort through the possibilities in my mind in a split-second, discarding unlikely sources or events (i.e. a crib has completely collapsed, or the garbage truck is collecting in the nursery.) I listen carefully to the babbling for a second, awaken fully, and dash in there. Entering the nursery is like stepping into a warm, dark cave. Their noise fan is on, it?s pitch-black, and the first wrong part of the equation emerges: Jadyn greets me at the door, delightedly. She somehow catapulted herself out of the crib, banging her head on either the closet door, or Isabella?s crib. She?s not upset by this at all, just rubs her head and says ?Bump head, Mommy.? Isabella is exclaiming excitedly, and much more worriedly "Sissy fall! Bump head! Oh no!" Oh no is right. I'm not ready for this.
9:45 am The girls are safely downstairs, going on with the day. They are watching a show, I am out of the room for a moment. Loud crash Number Two occurs, followed by loud screaming from Isabella. I leap down the stairs in a single bound, over the baby gate and into the room. Isabella has apparently climbed on top of the TV, and toppled it from the stand to the floor. She is terrified but unhurt. Jadyn is sitting just beside the over-turned TV, yelling "No Bewa! Bewa climb show! Show down!" Did I mention Jadyn is naked? Yes, she will not keep any clothes on, in fact the only reason she leaves her diaper on is because she doesn?t like messes, so peeing on the floor disturbs her. Soothing, hugging, admonishing complete, I wonder what in the world else could possibly happen today?
9:50 I am again attempting to get something done, anything done - dishes, laundry, dusting - things that require leaving the room momentarily. The girls are happily playing or reading in the playroom, so I sneak away. I peek out to check on them, and they have silently dragged a chair to the kitchen counter. Isabella is fiddling with the CD player, Jadyn is sitting on the counter wearing Rick's prescription sunglasses, grinning back at me, still naked. Rick turns the chairs over, next to the wall, out of commission - we think.
9:56 am Another peek to check on them, and once again they are on the counter. They have pushed, pulled and wrestled a chair from ACROSS the room, into the kitchen. I say sternly "Girls! Get down right now!" Isabella hightails it off the counter into the playroom and hides in a corner. Jadyn sits right where she is in the middle of the counter, opens my cellphone, grins at me, puts the phone to her ear and says "He-wo?" We remove all the chairs to another room, safely behind a gate. Whew. Really, what else could they get into?
10:15 am Like the fatalist lemming off a cliff, I continue my attempts at getting things done around the house. Surely the little imps will tire of their impishness and play with actual toys. Ahem. The sounds of clinking and clanking ring from the kitchen?s tile floor. What are they doing?? Making a souffle? Opening a bottle of wine? I ignore and console myself with the thought that I have locked the drawers that have dangerous items in them, so how bad can it be. One laundry load later, the banging is louder so I have to go check. There?s only so much household damage I am willing to repair, after all. Tweedledee and Tweedledum have all the silverware out on the floor ? and Isabella has had her way with it, placing the pieces neatly in rows. The wine thought was not too far off - they both have corkscrews and are tapping them on the windows, giggling. Isabella quickly puts hers back in its case, and Jadyn throws hers in the drawer. They're on to me now, and pull all the cuteness strings to stay out of trouble. For Jadyn, this means scooping up all of the silverware, and yelling "No Bewa, No Touch! No no!" while tossing it all in the drawer and slamming it. Jadyn's tactic of "blame and clean" is definitely funny, but I prefer Isabella's look of guilt.
Day's End: I have child-proofed the remaining kitchen drawers. Rick's idea of tying the chair legs to the table legs, a la public park, has been implemented. Dare I say bring it on? No, I don't dare. Because even as I type, they have dragged some other climbing tool into the kitchen, and are even now plundering the counters, dialing foreign countries on my phone, and pouring water into my purse. It's much too quiet down there. The sounds of guilty, furtive activities are usually quiet and echoed by "No, sissy I need that!" They must be drinking my water, I hear slurping and "Ah!" They are mocking me. Isabella repeats my line of "Girls, that's not funny" only she say "Dat's not dunny." Her "f" sounds are "d" - particularly "dunny" when she says "Ouch, my dinger!" Or "Wook! Wook! A dish!" "I wanna deed me." But that's another story. Oh well. back down into the trenches I go.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Dear Friends and Family,
Merry Christmas! We hope this update finds you relaxed and ready for the holiday season.
Due to a glitch in the Postal Service, our photo cards from Snapfish never arrived... So, to whosoever received my 2 separate orders and a combined total of 80 cards - please address and send them to all our friends and family!
I was feeling ahead of the game, and yes, quite proud that I had managed to get a good picture of the kids. I smugly placed my photo card order on December 5th, and sat back to wait the allotted 3 days for arrival. Waiting... waiting... waiting... - ok, after 8 days I emailed Snapfish to find out where the cards could possibly be. Snapfish sympatheticaly understood my frustration, but suggested I wait a full 10 business days before counting the cards lost. We were closing in on Dec. 15th at this point, but I agreed.
December 18th, the 10th day arrived, still no cards so Rick contacted Snapfish - and the customer service rep casually said "Oh, do you still want those cards?" What?!? No, this was just a game, all for my enjoyment! I didn't really want to send cards, just go through a photo shoot with three live wires for the fun of it! Good practice should I ever become a zoo employee!
Snapfish agreed to re-print the order and overnight the cards. Ah. I could still squeeze in under the wire. But not so fast... Now the 2nd order appears to also be lost! That was 3 days ago, and I'm not sure how that equates to "overnight" service. Years of using the Postal Service with no missing mail, and now I seem to be in a California-to-Georgia Bermuda Triangle of lost mail. I really thought I'd been a good girl this year. I mean, there was that time... but I digress. Where on God's green earth could 2 separate packages have gotten to??
After a full-page email sent to Snapfish Customer Service (did I mention their 800 number kept disconnecting my call?), in which I perfected the personal art-form of scathing denigration accompanied by Lady-of-the-manor manners ending with "Kindly refund my entire order amount," I received a note back from them.
Snapfish cheerily refunded my money, and proceeded to send a marketing email asking that I tell my friends about them and their photo services. Ah, I just did! Consider my friends and family notified, Snapfish! And thank you, Snapfish, for almost causing a breakdown here!
To all of you, thank you for listening to my Fish Tale. It's true, every bit of it. Now excuse me while I go postal.
Merry Christmas! We hope this update finds you relaxed and ready for the holiday season.
Due to a glitch in the Postal Service, our photo cards from Snapfish never arrived... So, to whosoever received my 2 separate orders and a combined total of 80 cards - please address and send them to all our friends and family!
I was feeling ahead of the game, and yes, quite proud that I had managed to get a good picture of the kids. I smugly placed my photo card order on December 5th, and sat back to wait the allotted 3 days for arrival. Waiting... waiting... waiting... - ok, after 8 days I emailed Snapfish to find out where the cards could possibly be. Snapfish sympatheticaly understood my frustration, but suggested I wait a full 10 business days before counting the cards lost. We were closing in on Dec. 15th at this point, but I agreed.
December 18th, the 10th day arrived, still no cards so Rick contacted Snapfish - and the customer service rep casually said "Oh, do you still want those cards?" What?!? No, this was just a game, all for my enjoyment! I didn't really want to send cards, just go through a photo shoot with three live wires for the fun of it! Good practice should I ever become a zoo employee!
Snapfish agreed to re-print the order and overnight the cards. Ah. I could still squeeze in under the wire. But not so fast... Now the 2nd order appears to also be lost! That was 3 days ago, and I'm not sure how that equates to "overnight" service. Years of using the Postal Service with no missing mail, and now I seem to be in a California-to-Georgia Bermuda Triangle of lost mail. I really thought I'd been a good girl this year. I mean, there was that time... but I digress. Where on God's green earth could 2 separate packages have gotten to??
After a full-page email sent to Snapfish Customer Service (did I mention their 800 number kept disconnecting my call?), in which I perfected the personal art-form of scathing denigration accompanied by Lady-of-the-manor manners ending with "Kindly refund my entire order amount," I received a note back from them.
Snapfish cheerily refunded my money, and proceeded to send a marketing email asking that I tell my friends about them and their photo services. Ah, I just did! Consider my friends and family notified, Snapfish! And thank you, Snapfish, for almost causing a breakdown here!
To all of you, thank you for listening to my Fish Tale. It's true, every bit of it. Now excuse me while I go postal.
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