Monday, May 21, 2007

Pencils, Chalk, Crayons and... Chocolate Milk?

May 21, 2007 - "Pencils, Chalk, Crayons and... Chocolate Milk?"

It has been the month of wall decor. These stealthy, sneaky, scalliwags have had their way with our walls.

It all started when Jadyn managed to sneak some sidewalk chalk into the house - oh, and it was wet, too, having been forgotten in the rain. Ot perhaps it was pre-planning on her part. Sure, it sounds easy, to bring a small chalk inside, but I am super-vigilant about coloring implements. Strict as can be, eagle-eyed, finger-shaking, doom-predicting, well, you get it.

You have to know Jadyn, aka The Phantom. She has way of traveling so stealthily that she can pass right by and go unseen. And that's what happened on this day. Only she left her calling card, as she apparently had a chalk in each hand, yellow and orange. Like airstrip tape in the night, she marked parallel lines down the front hallway carpet, by the kitchen, and - here's where it gets ugly - on our heretofore pristine den carpet. Ahhh. Did we need punctuation marks along the floor? A solid double line to demarcate a no-passing zone in the hallway? Well, we got 'em now. And carpet cleaner holds no power against rain-soaked, ultra-bright chalk.

Next, enter pencil art. Take 2 thick yellow preschool pencils, wielded by 2 mark-happy toddlers, and what you have is a playroom walled scribbled from stem to stern. From baseboard to the length of an excited toddler arm. Ahhh. Let's all hum the theme song to Magic Eraser. Who is responsible for this?? The reply comes from, who else, The Blame Phantom - "Sissy did it." And poor sissy takes it like an innocent Little Bear - all angelic naivete and wide eyes: "I need to sit in time out."

We've come full-circle, back to The Phantom, and a handful of crayons. Though I am wise to her sneaky ways, I have failed to factor the one-up the 2 of them have on me: 2 determined toddlers ace one harried parent any day. They have gotten into Cole's crayons, pretended to be all obedient and compliant ("Yes ma'am, we sit at the table"), and I have let down my guard. Rick comes in and as we chat, The Phantom hurries off to do the deed. But a new twist is added! She comes right back, so we suspect nothing! It's not until I walk down the hall moments later that I spy Picasso's piece. Slightly rushed in execution, but enough pressure to warrant some true scrubbing. Beautiful. Magic Eraser come on down.

Incongruously, chocolate milk makes it's appearance in this tale. Can you guess? Yep, it's our dear little Phantom. Once again, down the hallway I go, and I spy some suspicious puddles on the foyer tile... and some spatters down the bathroom door... and some drips down the hall. Oh my. Jadyn runs up - "I need a towel." Yes, you do, as you have chocolate all over your chin, and running down your shirt. From the look of things, Cole's milk was not to her liking, so she walked down the hall, spitting and shaking the straw. Particular care was taken to splatter the bathroom door, in order to get the drips to run down and collect in puddles underneath the door. Nice. This child needs a hobby.

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Put it right here, babe!