Monday, February 7, 2011

Goldilocks Syndrome

My children have a condition.
It is most apparent at two times of the day: getting-shoes-on-for-school time, and dinner time. It is called Goldilocks Syndrome, or GS. Pay close attention to the symptoms; you too may have a child with this condition.
It seems that early morning hours exacerbate GS, as well as time constraints:

"Oooohhhh. Grrr! This sock is NOT right! Grrr... I. Can't. Fix. The. LUMPY PART! Give me other ones! Give me other ones QUICK!"
"Ahh. Better. Only.... this one is TOO tight and TOO short!"
"Now this one makes my pinkie toe hurt!"
"Mommmmm it's just not right!!"
"ARggHHGRRRRR!" (OK, that growl was me.)

The day goes along as expected, only to have them erupt with symptoms yet again, at dinner time. At this time of day, tiredness and hunger are the factors that seem to set off a GS riot. Having witnessed this for lo, these many years, some days I try to head it off. Last night was one of those days. I decided to circumvent the condition with a four-child-friendly supper - a feat on any night, I can assure you. But with my trusty blue box of mac and cheese, I was up to the task. I just a-whistled along, mixing up my good-to-go masterpiece, throwing a few fresh berries alongside, and calling it a meal.
And then we sat down.
And GS reared its head:

"Is this fresh? I can only eat fresh macaroni."
"Is this leftover? I only like leftover macaroni."
"I need the reindeer fork to be able to eat my macaroni."
"Can you heat this up? It's already cold."

And I? I will need a bigger glass.
And a few bears to sort out Goldi.

1 comment:

  1. arghh..Indeed.
    I remember doing that when I was little...the lump in a sock is {absolutely} unbearable!!!
    Now, we only have one goldilocks here...and his name is Victor! Of all my children, his locks are the closest to golden...


Put it right here, babe!