Death of a Drink

"Death of a Drink"

November 2006

You can never be too careful with liquids around here. Just when you think you have a drink on a high-enough counter, or pushed far enough back, well, quite frankly, disaster will strike.

The evening started out tranquil enough: babies eating dinner in high chairs, Daddy watching the news, Mommy puttering around the kitchen. A Bloody Mary sounded good, so I mixed one up. Before I could even take a sip, squalling broke out from the Dining Duo. Now, for some reason, although the distance from High Chairs to Daddy was noticeably closer than that to Mommy cowering in the kitchen corner, enviously eyeballing the fresh drink... well, the sounds of whining babies somehow tipped the typanic balance in Daddy's eardrums, resulting in paternal deafness.

I scurried over, getting first Isabella out (Loud One), and setting her free, then hurrying to Jadyn. There may have been a comment directed towards the Daddy in the recliner, but nothing I could swear to. All of a sudden Loud One begins to shriek hysterically from the direction of the kitchen. I plop Jadyn down and run toward the noise.

Isabella has up-ended my entire spicy Bloody Mary on her head. Ouch. Tomato juice everywhere. Spicy peppercorns spotting her sparse hair. Eyes closed tightly in pain. I quickly strip her clothes off and rinse her face. Yuck.

At this point, Daddy comes to inspect the noise, and admonish Mommy for leaving a drink on the edge of the counter. Oh my. Them's fighting words. I hasten to correct him, using empirical evidence of Isabella's recent growth in height, per the pediatrician, supported by a rising tone of voice. All of a sudden we hear Baby B (Jadyn) saying "Oh no! Wa-wa!" from the den. Right beside the previously occupied recliner. "Wa-wa" in Jadyn's vocabulary is anything liquid. And she has just discovered Daddy's fresh, unattended beer, and poured the entire can into the recliner. Nice. How do they know when we are busy with another twin emergency?

Two drinks killed in a matter of 2 minutes. That's a tough record to beat. Man I miss that Bloody Mary.