Wednesday, September 6, 2006

September 6, 2006

Sometimes when I'm sitting in the playroom, keeping watch over these 3, I list in my head all the titles of this occupation. Negotiator, diplomat, chef, police officer, truant officer, judge, merry maid - depending on my mood, the list grows ever more humorous! But I think my favorite title right now is that of referee. It says it all, everything you need to know in order to raise 3 children and keep your sanity.

As Head Household Referee you must have judgment when making calls, authority to enforce the decisions, knowledge of the rules of the game and all of the intricacies - and that all-important Red Card. Ah yes, the authority to send a player to his or her room for conduct unbecoming a child of mine! I take care to use this right whenever necessary, because #1: it preserves the peace and happiness around here and #2: before long they will grow too big for me to forcibly carry up the stairs and deposit in their rooms. (c;

These analogies of mine keep me entertained throughout all the madcap adventures. The latest trick du jour is The Dive. This move was introduced by Big Brother, also known as The Instigator. The Dive involves finding some high perch to stand on, and some soft item to land on. Exhibit A: The Dive was performed by Cole from the top of a pile of 5 couch cushions on top of the coffee table, down onto the leather ottoman piled with small cushions. Precarious, yet successful. Exhibit B: Isabella attempts The Dive. She stands on the seat of the tricycle, and dives onto a beanbag. Worrisome, yet successful. Exhibit C: Isabella attempts The Dive while standing the seat of a lower trike, and diving onto a chair. Problem? Oh yes. That chair has wooden arms. Ohhhh. You just can't make this stuff up.

Jadyn apparently has the skills of a pickpocket. She is particularly good at The Snatch & Run. Only, her wild giggling and diagonal run often give her away. She has tried The S&R on all of us. Isabella sits quietly reading a book. Jadyn comes up behind her and Presto! Snatch & Run. Cole reclines on the beanbag eating a snack, watching a show. Presto! The snack is gone. My favorite is the Ghost Snatch & Run. Several times I've fixed a drink for Cole & left it on the counter, only to hear him whine a moment later that I forgot his drink. I fuss back that it's Right On The Counter. We look at each other and say simultaneously... J-a-d-y-n. Sure enough, she will be in a corner, hiding, drinking Cole's drink.

It's always busy, rarely boring around here.

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Put it right here, babe!