Phoenix: If a king snakes bites you, you will be dead forEVER. Like, EVER. If it bites you. A king snake will bite you, you know. It will. It bites.
Me: King snakes are harmless to us. They do not have venomous bites. They eat pests like rats and mice and help us.
Phoenix (with a totally disgusted look and a sarcastic tone): What, like you might just scream loudly if it bites you? That's IT? Sheesh.
Phoenix: Maybe I can ask Santa for something like small gun. Just a small one, not real. I mean, not a real gun - not that. Just like, a play gun. But still a gun, I mean. A gun for Christmas.
Me: silence... and the distinct feeling that I do not know where this child came from, with his snakes and gun talk.
Do you ever look at your kids that way? As though they dropped out of the sky?