Saturday, December 7, 2013

Deadly Bites and Weapons Before 7am

Phoenix: If a king snakes bites you, you will be dead forEVER. Like, EVER. If it bites you. A king snake will bite you, you know. It will. It bites.

Me: King snakes are harmless to us. They do not have venomous bites. They eat pests like rats and mice and help us.

Phoenix (with a totally disgusted look and a sarcastic tone): What, like you might just scream loudly if it bites you? That's IT? Sheesh.

Phoenix: Maybe I can ask Santa for something like small gun. Just a small one, not real. I mean, not a real gun - not that. Just like, a play gun. But still a gun, I mean. A gun for Christmas.

Me: silence... and the distinct feeling that I do not know where this child came from, with his snakes and gun talk.

Do you ever look at your kids that way? As though they dropped out of the sky?

1 comment:

  1. ommm..yes! I do.
    When Eva picks out the sparkliest --high heel--flip flops and when she runs around the house in those fake barbie high heels...that is exactly what I think. :)
    Guns and snakes, huh?
    :)--you know he {needs a little gun} mama!--Well, even if you don't, Santa does. :)


Put it right here, babe!