A New Name

I am The Todfather. I will break you. But first, I will methodically break an entire box of new crayons. One by one. S-N-A-P. I got my eyes on you. Never doubt it.

(Must be Phoen-week around here. Hoo-ah!)

Riding with The Phoenix

Scenes from the spring break drive...

 Yes, my seat is reclined back INTO his lap, so the sultan can comfortably claim my hand.

 Yes, yes, you're sweet. but we've been in the car for 3.5 hours my dear. Sit back.

 Sure, take a picture of me. Yes, yes - "cheese" indeed. 

Sure, take one of Daddy. His arm isn't contorted or numb. Drive faster Daddy.

Doesn't it look peaceful, all nostalgic? Don't be fooled. There is much squealing etched into those shots.

And this is why we don't take many trips.

The End.

Playing the odds

Guess who will be riding on the bus to Pre-K?!
The Littlest Lear!!!
Wow, that was some serious thumb-sitting ya'll did. What a fantastic relief and sense of luck, to see his number drawn in the lottery! Happy Friday friends, go out and get some good luck for yourselves, I'll share.

Lucky little stinker

Sitting on thumbs

If you aren't, I hope you will. This Friday is the kicker. The elementary school has a lottery to fill the 19 Pre-K spaces, and you-know-who's name is in the bucket. Yes, I was tempted to add some ticky-tack or gorilla glue to his ticket so it would have to be drawn. I won't lie. I've done all I can with living right and having some modest amounts of luck, and now it is up to the fates. Typically, there are over 100 applicants for those 19 spaces. And if you've been around borderland for ages, you will remember that I played this lottery game with the girls too. My luck was in that year. Will it hold???
Oh, and why the thumb-sitting? Well, funny thing, that. We would say "Cross your fingers!" but that doesn't always translate, and ever since my Swedish friend told me that their saying equates to "Sitting on my thumbs!" I have had to use it. I wonder if crossing one's fingers sounds as funny to them as sitting on thumbs does to us. Anyway, how about we all cross them AND sit on them, in hopes that Phoenix Mr. Big Todzilla gets into that class, hmm? Friday the 13th. Who has a drawing on that day?!

On another note, guess what activity is in our Parks & Rec Summer Guide? I'll give you a hint. It's not dance, or swim or gymnastics. It's..... Tree Climbing! Wow. Yes, for the low, low price of $28, your child can climb a tree in a safe, learning environment. (Oh my heavens to betsy, we are raising a nation of weenies.) If I were an entrepreneurial person, I would capitalize on this opportunity. I'm already out there every afternoon, watching 4 tree-climbing children. What's a few more? Though I must say, the Parks Dept. people have their hands on some purt-y fine climbing trees. I should know. If those trees are at a park, chances are, my kids have climbed them. Multiple times. I shudder to think at the multiples of $28 that we must now owe the City! Now, keep in mind, this is a 2 1/2 hour class that the city is running. If your little climber tends to lose interest after, say, 21 1/2 minutes, then this is not the class for you. Oh no. Keep on training him or her on your own trees, for, you know, *free* okay?

All righty then. Now that I've enlightened you with a thumb-sitting opportunity, and a tree-climbing opportunity (Let me know if you sign up for that. We may or may not be friends anymore.), I will move on to this week's Sweet Shot.

After Mom left, we headed to NC to visit our dear friends in Moravian Falls. Why was sweet Phoenix not roaming the mountains and excavating the hills? A dog. A friendly, energetic husky named Trooper, to be exact. But because his smiling, licking face and pointy teeth were even with Phoenix's face, it was not a match made in heaven. Oh no. Phoenix misunderstood his name and called him "Sherbert," and proceeded to avoid Sherbert for the next 3 days. By staying with us. Our joy was immense. Acres of apple hills, horse pastures and fresh air! A small lively boy's paradise! It was not to be. He passed up roaming around this:

 And this:

For this... arm's length to safety, from vicious boy-eating mountain dogs.

It was still sweet.

Easter tidings

This year we had to let Cole in on the news. He took it well, at first: "I know Santa and the leprechauns are real, but I draw the line at a giant bunny, hopping around the world leaving candy." Rick gave him a thumbs up, and some salve for his emotional wounds and said "You betcha Santa is real! He is more Real then Real!" or some such nonsense designed only to prolong the inevitable. It's quite a predicament we find ourselves in, you see. The boy turns 11 in a few weeks, starts middle school this fall, has been engaged in discussions of impending puberty - and still believes in every magical being to ever walk the earth. I amused my girlfriends by sharing Rick's comments on The Talk: "How do you talk about sex with a kid who still believes in the Easter Bunny??"
Well, mark that one off! Whew! Let it be known, the boy has drawn the line at a giant bunny! Only when forced, sure, but he dug it, folks. He was down with being Big. Riiiight. As long as he got his fair share of chocolate. This topic is to be continued, you know it.

In other news, Spring break will be laid to rest tonight, when we return to a normal bedtime and routine. It was filled with nonstop fun, and I did not wring any necks or make any dire threats. Things are smoothing out! Here are a few shots from Mom's visit, and our tea party, egg-decorating time:

 Of course the Bunnykins china made it's appearance

 My kids are talented... let me show you the artistic randomness...

 Eyelashes anyone??? The Easter sheriff is in town, too!

Phoenix made the hieroglyphic egg-men. 

 Wot? Bethany baked cupcakes? Mark the day!

Gigee and her sweeties

For now, Happy Easter - and may you find a peaceful moment today to reflect. We will take some quiet moments on the Meditation Trail nearby, and enjoy the last day of spring break. 

Meditation Trail with Gigee... 

Thank you!

Thank you for your kind and encouraging support of Haven!

It has been exciting to read emails, Facebook responses, and a blog {endorsement} (Hey Susan!).
If you feel the love, and feel so inclined, please leave a comment on Amazon.
Thank you friends!

Otherwise, it is a somewhat normal time here on the border. Only in a bit of hyper-drive, since it is....
(dun-dun-DUN!)
Spring Break in Georgia.


I have stocked up the cupboards as a Good Mother would, I have made some plans, but most importantly - Gigee is here to visit. Yes!
I know you haven't heard tales of her in a while, and I will have to ask her if the guinea hen raising is going well. For this week, she will put her willpower to the Lear kid raising. Amen. When Mama visits, we all have something to say. Some of us more than others; some of us louder than others.

That concludes this service announcement, I shall return after Spring Break, if all goes well and I am still standing. Which reminds me - I said to a friend recently "Lord willing and the creek don't rise" and she looked at me as though I were An Alien. When you have to explain it, it is not so appropriate, right? So.
I will return, and Happy Spring Break!

Haven: the details

Here's the nitty-gritty, kids:
 Haven is here, in living color!
This morning I'm making links and buttons...
And here we have it, on the sidebar - applause for my restraint in not naming it the preshus...

A note for my non-Kindle friends:

Hi Friends,
I have started out simple, producing this project on one site only. Ebook conversion is tricky! Please forgive me. Love, B.

Kindle offers free apps for many other devices, though I have not yet found a way for my nook friends to make it work. There are apps for PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, Android devices, etc.:
Free Kindle apps

I have heard from iPhone and iPad users that the app is great, and the format works well
This has been a process of techie education, and in the process I have found that I am not so techie. (I die a little inside at the admission...) I'm capable of some things, sure - but ebook conversion across every app available? My head, my pounding head! I downloaded three different converters, testing and editing, and realizing along the way that each converter took my document and did wonky things with it. According to ebook advice sites, and Amazon itself, the conversion process is just "that way." One particular conversion randomly removed every "l" from most words. Freak out! Bethany Ear, I am not. So, this is why I have chosen to stick with one conversion that came through with relatively few kinks and cranks.

All that stuff aside...
What a week! Your comments, emails and encouragement have been the ink in my pen.
Bye for now...

steps and leaps: an announcement

Halloo good friends and people of the internetz!
I have been through the mood gamut today and have settled on pleased satisfaction. It is good, no?
I think this will sound like I am giving a speech.
I am trying not to sound like a speech-giver, speech-writer or anything of the sort.
Oh help, speech! Speech on the horizon!

"Begin at the beginning," the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Alice in Wonderland)

If you have enjoyed the poems I write and post from time to time, then take note!
(Sing halloo!) On this day, that also happens to be my birthday, but is not coincidental to this announcement, I have N-E-W-S.
In 12-72 hours Amazon Kindle Store will have my very own collection of poetry listed, for procurement by poetry lovers the world over. What? Poetry, you say? Yes! I say!
If I could contain my excitement for 12 or possibly 72 hours, I would have waited and posted a link along with this news.
Alas. Alas? Alas, you say? Well, yes. If you say "poetry" you have to also begin to say "Alas." I think it's a rule. I love a good rule!
Alas, I could not wait. Consider it advance notice for my borderland friends. Beat the rush! Poetry is the new, umm, new, umm, well. It is what I have been given to do, and that is where we stand, friends.
Sing poems!
You know I have things to say about this. Dramatic, melodramatic, spirit-bringing, lovemaking things to say about this. For now: This poetry collection of mine is called Haven, and it is an assortment of 22 poems about life, love, friends, comfort and perhaps a lick of inspiration.
Links to follow, rambling to end now, birthday to continue in true 36 year old fashion.
Sing glory!

Luck o' the Lears

All of this luck could have been yours. The house across the street sat empty for two years, until finally George moved in. Now, he is sitting on a lawn full of luck. Behold, the luck of the Lear children, as they plunder George's clover patch:

 And, my professional natural clover press. Good thing this is not a cooking post! That would not be lucky, not lucky at all my wee friends. Trust that Lucky Rickey had this in his possession well before I came along.

This press cookbook is good for many things, as you can see by the word "supreme" in the title. But it is most often used for clovers. (Maybe there's a recipe in there for them, I wouldn't be surprised.)

Your next question may echo my own: What the heck kind of chemical has been applied to that lawn, to have it produce such massive quantities of mutant multiple-leaf clover? Jadyn & Cole both found FIVE leaf clovers this week, and at that point, I said "Enough! Enough already! This suddenly does not seem lucky anymore! Wash your hands with soap right now!" Or something to that effect, but definitely at that decibel level. 

My next thought: Just wait, a clever and botanically-trained reader, will email me to inform me and my lucky offspring that these are not in fact clovers at all, but some other common weed. I'm ready.

Until then... Happy St. Patty's Day! You would truly be lucky if your yard had my kids pile into it every day looking for these elusive little buggers!

Fever time

It's time again, that fever time. The kids all know it, the kids all feel it. When I walk with my 1st grade reading groups at school, they are all eager like puppies, leaping and jostling and telling me stories. No more quiet, whispered tales. They sashay, skip, leap the cracks, stay on the white tiles, hug the wall and most importantly - do not ever simply walk to the library. (Unless you are Sam. Reliable, constant, controlled Sam.) I tease them, I call them "Dude!" and I tell them to zip their lips. "Let's all do it together, and this time... make it stick! Zip! Dude, I'm here to r-e-a-d!"
It is impossible. Spring is coming. It is coming out their pores and dribbling from their mouths and most of all wiggling through their entire bodies. They are sincere in every way: Sincerely the Best at Reading. Sincerely the best at Basketball. Sincerely the Most Well-Read. Sincerely the Most Bedecked with Jewelry, and they must convince me at every turn of this ultimate standing. Unless of course, they are not the Best and instead are the Quietest. And to the Quietest, I squeeze small shoulders and whisper sweet praise, for being Quiet is an honor all it's own.
My 1st grader watches all of this hullaballoo. My other 1st grader also watches. One claims her place at my side. The other smirks and claims my hand. It is the only time they do not vie for attention. They own it. These are not siblings to compete with, all is well. My 1st grader has grown 3 and a quarter inches in the past year. I look longingly at the small ones; I look wonderingly at the giant one. True to her nature, she is best friends once again with a small one. Small and bossy goes along with gentle giant. My other girl has chosen a chatty one. The listening one goes along with the chattery one.
All is well.
Balanced.
Yet...Out of whack, because remember?
Spring is coming!
Sing cuckoo!